Stages of Rejection by an Editor

In 1969 Kubler-Ross created the Five Stages of Grief. They are as follows;
1. Denial that the event has occurred.
2. Anger at the inability to change or control the event.
3. Bargaining is the process of justification or "rationalization" of the tragedy.
4. Depression about the event and all the negative impact it will have.
5. Acceptance is dealing with the event and moving on in a healthy fashion.

In 2012 Bauer created the Five Stages of Editor Rejection. They follow a similar yet, different, path;
1. Denial - "You have got to be kidding! I spent like three weeks on that manuscript!"
2. Anger - "You'll rue the day you passed on my brilliance! Never again shall I submit work to your rag - you rabid, flea-bitten pack of inbred Neanderthal mouth-breathers."
3. Bargaining - "I understand I've exceeded your submission guidelines by 34,000 words. I'd be delighted to submit a more succinct rewrite for your consideration."
4. Depression - Chug, chug, chug. "Mmm. Single malt...peaty goodness..."
5. Acceptance - "I've decided that perhaps speculative fiction isn't my strength. I'm currently drafting a novel which combines the epic scope of George R.R. Martin, the heartfelt dialogue of "Twilight" and the fast-paced action of Clive Cussler. Oh, and it also has mummies that glow in the dark!"

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